Words on a Page

Words create our reality. That is why they are so powerful. The words we tell ourselves forge who we become. We manifest our own destiny.

Perhaps this is why I shy away from words. I’ve been avoiding their power. But maybe it is time I step into mine. Through words.

I write to bolster myself. And to bolster others. In a way, they are one and the same. I find that the words I say to others are often the ones I need to hear.

There is a vein of gold in words, a chord that strikes. I’m drawn to the rhythm and the flow. Words are like a dance. They move and pause, rise and fall, find a pattern all their own.

They can be a meditation. A benediction. A prayer. A spell. A prophesy. We can create an entire fantasy with words. We can be the heroes of our own tale.

Better yet, we can write the tale.

How will you write yours?

In the Hole

I was watching a show the other night, and there was a scene where several women were imprisoned in a hole. There was a shot from above and I could see them all arrayed around the perimeter, like they were in a big, deep well. The main character was trying to get out, and her friend started bemoaning the fact that they never would. My mind launched off at that point, as it often does when I’m watching late-night Netflix after having smoked a nice green bowl, and I started problem-solving the women’s plight.

When I was a kid, I had a friend with a big, four-story house that included a laundry chute that connected from floor to floor. So one time when he and my brother and I we were playing hide and seek, I hid in the laundry chute with my back braced against one wall and my feet on the other, so I could inch down between the floors. Incidentally, it was the best hiding spot ever and no one ever found me!

I remembered that and wondered if it could work for these women. What if they all linked arms and used each other’s legs and feet to push off of, and kinda inched their way up, out of the hole? If they could use each other as a literal support network?

It became such a firm image in my mind that I really wanted the show to go there -- to have  these women triumph and free themselves. Of course it didn’t. They were eventually rescued by a man. Naturally, because that’s always what happens.

But I was really taken with my idea, and it became a metaphor in my head for feminism in general. I absolutely believe that male allies are crucial, and I feel incredibly fortunate to have so many amazing men in my life (not the least of whom is the one I married!), but I feel like the key lies in each other. The other women in the hole. We’re all down there, and only we can get out of it, but we all have to work together. We have to use each other’s strength and determination as we link arms, brace ourselves, and lift each other up.

Use Your Voice

I've had an epiphany. Partly it was reading the book, Pussy: A Reclamation, by Regena Thomashauer, but that was really just the final grain of sand that tipped the scales. The book encapsulated so many of the things I'd been thinking, suspecting, discovering -- about sex and sensuality, about wanting to forge a sisterhood, about how we're strongest when we're lifting each other up and supporting one another. It inspired me, and somehow flipped a switch, deep down. I don't want to waste time with fear and insecurity anymore. I don't want to let limitations hold me back. I want to see beauty and opportunity everywhere, I want to be bold and optimistic. I want to quit living small. I want to shine.

And part of that means speaking up. Making myself heard. I have a voice. But somehow over the years, I just stopped using it. I stopped writing. I used to write blog entries, stories, roleplay scenes -- endless, endless roleplay scenes, back in my MUSH days. Back then, writing and communication were a key component in my daily life, but gradually that shifted, and I want to get that back. I have things to say. Opinions, advice, beliefs, ideas. They're worth saying. I may not be right all the time, and sometimes what I want to say may not be fully formed yet, but that's okay. It's part of the process. The main thing is to just get it out. Speak up. Be heard. Even when you're not sure if anyone's listening.

So this is part of my newfound intention to write again. I've got a blog, so I might as well use it. And what I want to do goes so much beyond just making jewelry. I want to create beauty. I want to forge connections. I want to curate events and experiences. I want to lift up other women, other individuals who've been beaten down and had their light dimmed by life. I want to say no, you are worthy, you are beautiful, you are powerful, you can shine. I want to ignite all the gorgeous souls around me, one candle flame to another. I want to call in my sisterhood. Like calling the bannermen to war, except this battle is not about conquest or killing. It's about love, connection, vulnerability, healing. Ignite your sisterhood, so that they can ignite theirs, and theirs, and so on -- all these overlapping circles, neverending, connecting us all together. Just imagine if we were all lit up? How bright would we shine?

Together we can light up the world. I'm feeling the call. Who else is with me?

Create, Connect, Curate, Communicate

I like alliteration, so when I was mulling over my life's purpose and what I want to do with my time on this rock, I distilled my goals into a series of c-words: create, connect, curate, and communicate.

Create is easy. I've been an artist all my life, of one kind or another. I used to draw, then I got into writing, then it was graphic design and websites for a while, and now it's jewelry-making. I seem drawn to some creative outlet or other. Perhaps it's simply genetic by virtue of having an artist mother and clever, would-be professor father. But whatever my path in life, I tend to leave it littered with various creative outpourings. There is magic in that. I'm taking materials and manipulating them, or just conjuring pen-strokes or words out of thin air. It's like a kind of sorcery.

Connecting is another passion and pursuit. I enjoy connecting with people, and facilitating their connections with each other. That was a pleasant bonus of my time with Aether -- creating a shared world for people to inhabit, of which they still have fond memories. I think there was at least one marriage that resulted from that game. I brought folks together who might never have met. And now, when I organize events or host get-togethers, one of my favorite parts is seeing the new friendships  or relationships that might develop.

There's also the rich joy of connecting with other people. Maybe I've been too cautious about that, but I'm trying to deepen some of my friendships. I had a long talk with a friend yesterday and got to delve into some of the deep stuff. Like what I want to do with my life, what direction I want to go in and how to get there. It felt really good and promising to plunge in -- although a little uncomfortable at times. But I guess that's just part of the growth process. If I want to stretch beyond my comfort zones, it's gonna get a little scary. Nothing worth striving for is easy, is it?

Curating is another pleasure that I would like to indulge more. I like the thought of curating an experience for someone -- of being in charge of what they see, smell, taste, feel. I suppose it reminds me of my MUSHing days, which was so dependent on imagination and conjuring up a world. I'm eager to delve into that again, whether it be with the aforementioned event-planning, or other, more decadent pursuits.

And last, of course, communication. I dithered on whether I should include it or not, tempted by the magic number of 3. But although some of these categories cross over, communicate is still worthy of its own space. Plus, I've been neglecting it for too long. I used to write blogs, chat online, get into long, late-night phone conversations with friends. Now, I think I say or write only maybe 10-15% of the things that come into my head. I let my voice dwindle down, over the years. I stopped writing. And now it's a struggle just to get through this blog entry. But I told myself to write something today, and plunge back into the "communication" portion of my life's goal, so here it is. A stream-of-consciousness blog entry about the things I want to focus on in life.

I guess it's like writing a manifesto. Just a really vague one. I should follow my friend's lead, and try to come up with some tangible ways to enact these goals. But at least this is a start. Just putting it out there and declaring the things I want to achieve.

Create. Connect. Curate. Communicate.

Dusting Off the Blog

Figured I'd dust off this poor neglected blog while I tweak my website. I've shifted my focus over the last year and a half toward body jewelry, and I have to say, it's a lot of fun! I get to think in a bigger and broader scope, with a 3-D element as I envision how the jewelry will fit around a person. The canvas is bigger so there's more of a chance to stretch my creative muscles. And what's not to love about adorning one's body in jewelry?

There's something particularly appealing to me about the idea of wrapping oneself in beautiful beads -- especially now that I've been getting into the metaphysical properties of stones. I like to think of my pieces as magickal, protective "armor" of sorts, that will help shield the wearer from negative energy and enhance whatever qualities the stones embody. Plus, it's an excuse to buy more beautiful semi-precious beads! Ahhh, the possibilities.

Season of the Witch

Sarah Lynne Bowman modeling Gothic-style
headdress and jewelry

It's great being back in Austin, for a whole multitude of reasons, but jewelry-wise, it's great being back among a network of friends who will model for me! This latest shoot features Sarah Lynne Bowman, whom I met years ago through other friends, and who's a LARP afficionado and fond of corsets, costumes, and fantasy. She was all too happy to don various outfits of a "witchy" sort, and showcase several of my headdresses and Gothic-style jewelry.


I posted an album of our shoot on Facebook; hopefully this link will work even for non-FBers:

Season of the Witch

Enjoy!

Fairy Tales

I've been captured by fairy tales lately. Maybe it's because we've been watching "Once Upon a Time," based on the recommendations of friends. We got the first season on DVD and we're a few episodes away from the end. It's pretty good, and I enjoy the fairy tale theme... but there's a part of me that wishes it were just a little darker. More surreal. Unsettling. The way Grimm's fairy tales were originally meant to be.

Today's fairy tales are all watered down and palatable to children. But I miss the edgier versions. The ones where the evil queen is also an ogress who likes the taste of human flesh. The ones where the wolf eats the grandmother. The ones where death is matter-of-fact and where dark things happen to sleeping princesses. I like those kinds of fairy tales, so I've  taken to Etsy to make Treasuries along those themes.

I get inspired by images--Etsy and Pinterest have certainly fueled my creativity. It's funny--I think creativity comes in stages. First there's the fertilization process, where you soak up ideas: look and listen and absorb. It's the ingredients going into the stew.

Then things start to simmer. Ideas form, nebulous and hazy, but if you can latch on, and if you get lucky, you turn them into something. With jewelry, this is where I experiment. Try out designs and see what works, what piques my interest. If I like it, I keep going. Let it become something. Let the idea blossom.

Then there's a sort of "ripening" stage. Tweak, polish, replicate, perfect. Let it get established. Bask in the afterglow of having made something.

And then, inevitably, the crash. After it's all done, time to rest. Hibernate. Recharge. Before, ideally, you start the whole thing all over again.

Anyway, what does all that have to do with fairy tales? Not much, I suppose. That's just what I'm soaking up right now. Who knows where it might lead?

Oh, and if you click on any of the images, you can see the Etsy Treasuries I made, centered around some of my favorite old tales. The darker versions.