Baby Steps

Might as well try to keep the writing thing going, here in a blog that no one reads! It's a good habit to maintain, if nothing else.

I'm here at work, trying to keep busy at 2 am. Alone with my thoughts and wired on coffee. The daytime sleeping thing is still a challenge. I've got blackout curtains, a sleep mask, various herbal supplements like melatonin, Valerian root, CBD oil, and a Headspace app on my phone that plays soothing, ambient tones. And yet, even with all that, it's a challenge to sleep for more than 2-3 hours at a stretch (if I'm lucky). I try to cat-nap while I'm at work in the wee hours, just since I figure I might as well grab any sleep when I can, but are those late-night "naps" interfering with my "real" sleep? Ugh, I don't know. It's only week two, and I know it'll take time, but I'm eager to establish a regular schedule. I don't want the rest of my life to suffer due to lack of sleep, which I understand is essential for mental/emotional well-being. But there's nothing to do but wait and see how it all plays out.

I've been reading more. Checking out lots of books from the library lately. Gone through four of Liane Moriarty's novels already, and got another one on hold. Maybe I ought to intersperse her more with other authors, but when I get obsessed (such as with food), the obsession is ALL I want and nothing else will do.

But maybe reading is just an excuse to avoid writing. So much easier to read someone else's words than try to put down my own. I tell myself that I'm soaking up inspiration, but maybe the real truth is that I'm just procrastinating.

Still, baby steps and all. If I try to write something each shift, even just a blog entry that no one'll read, it's a start. Gotta try to look at the positive and not beat myself up too much.

Maybe I'll open up one of my various works-in-progress and stare at it for a while and hope inspiration comes.

Or I'll just read something.